I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
