Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
