I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm really busy with my period
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