I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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