Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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