spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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