I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Ketchup is God's man juice
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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