She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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