walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
