I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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