Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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