Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
