i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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