it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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