just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
