don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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