Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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