Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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