I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The best revenge is premature balding
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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