Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
