I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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