I want to make a zoo with you.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
