Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
