I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
one might say we're banned from that church
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
