Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
