too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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