I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
