I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
