I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
