Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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