I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
