Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
