Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
