last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it was like eating out sand paper
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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