Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize