You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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