god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
50% drunk capacity currently
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
