So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I stole a fireplace last night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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