Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
