You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
