you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
