we're blogging at a bar
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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