I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
