wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
