im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
