You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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