He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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