he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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