I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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