so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
