I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
