She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
