you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
