Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
