There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
