Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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