What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
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Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
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