Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
