I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
