My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
