I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
