I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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