i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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