dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
